Should we have stayed at home and thought of here?
Where should we be today?
Is it right to be watching strangers in a play
in this strangest of theatres?
[…]
“Is it lack of imagination that makes us come
to imagined places, not just stay at home?
[…]
Continent, city, country, society:
the choice is never wide and never free.
And here, or there . . . No. Should we have stayed at home,
wherever that may be?”
–Elizabeth Bishop, “Questions of Travel”
Stepping into someone else’s home for the first time almost always feels like an intrusion to me. Perhaps it stems from my tendency to always preserve my personal spaces, and I’m just projecting onto others from there. Either way, I found myself conflicted while standing in the middle of a Balinese compound as to whether or not it would be appropriate to take photos. On one hand this family has opened their home to tourists, and likely expected photos. On the other, it was still a place of residence, and I only saw one of the inhabitants shift from one room to another barely making eye contact with our group. Were we supposed to be here?
Just two days before, the majority of our group was standing outside of a Kampung--a low income village in Jakarta often considered to be slums by Jakarta’s elite. Here a local resident had set up a small business offering tours through his Kampung. Some students expressed concern over touring this village, stating either personal discomfort or moral objections. As we passed the cramped homes, children stuck their heads out of doorways attempting to get a better look at the group of Americans passing by. As we reached the end of the walkway, a few families came out and asked to take photos with us. Again, were we supposed to be here?
At what point did our actions become those of aggression or exploitation? Was it when we visited an impoverished area as (relatively) rich outsiders, feeding into some of the ideas of western superiority? Was it when we took over the home of a Balinese family for a half hour, snapping photos but failing to speak to the homeowners themselves?
Two particular lines in “Questions of Travel” stand out to me:
“Is it right to be watching strangers in a play
in this strangest of theaters?”
In both cases, it felt as if I was stepping into a space that was distinctly not made for me, despite the fact that both were open to my presence. Perhaps it felt strange because of our limited interactions with those who actively occupied the space. Without those interactions, it felt as if we were watching a play. In the past when I have travelled, my experiences have been immersive--mainly because I typically travel where I have family. In those situations, I eat off the same plate and drink from the same cup as those living in the home. I use my (admittedly poor) language skills in an attempt to communicate with those individuals.
Without those interactions tethering me to the people and the space, this time I felt like an outsider peering in, but failing to fully understand.
